You’re Welcome Sergeant Bret Draughn – We’re Helping You “Spread the Word” About Phoenix Cops Being Limited on the Number of Rounds They Receive!

File this one folks under “WTF??”

The Phoenix PD are limiting the number of rounds (bullets) that cops can shoot. 

Yeah…Can you believe it?  Funny how the rest of us can get ammo, but the Phoenix PD can't?  Where are they trying to buy their ammo...WalMart?

C'mon Chief Danny! Can't you take some of the money wasted on annual Oath of Office Recertification and buy 100 rounds of ammo?

Based upon our calculations, this should cost $520 max. ($.52 per round). Can't you put this kind of money together? Maybe take some of the overtime money your newly appointed commander Joe “Balloon” Knott gave himself when he worked homicide? $520 is about one callout per year for him!  Maybe sell all the ketchup spilled on Stan Hoover's uniform shirt back to McDonalds? That should net at least $600 itself! 

Maybe if they put all these fat fucks like the Pina brothers or the Polombos on diets, they might save on the uniform allowances?   So if these fat fucks are too out of shape to chase criminals, and now they have no ammo...then what are they going to do?   Lob insults?  Use strongly worded messages?

Policing with a Porpoise?  Smells like a bunch of dead fish to us. 

Geez Danny Garcia – what a horrific thing to do to the 5th largest police department in the country.  Is this one of those things you were taught in Dallas?

The rumor is that during Danny's range qualification in Phoenix, he couldn't hit the broad side of Benny Pina's ginormous ass from seven yards, and hence had to be given a "secret" "special" qualification test without anyone around to see it.

 Go back to Dallas you midget, Napoleonic moron.


From: Draughn, Bret
Sent: Monday, March 25, 2013 2:38 PM
To: Training Rep Grp
Cc: Moore, David (Lt.)
Subject: Suspension of 100 rounds per month

Effective immediately the Department will be suspending the 100 rounds per month program for Department personnel. Due to budgetary issues, increasing cost of ammunition, and the difficulty in getting ammunition in a timely basis the Department must begin to carefully manage what ammunition we have on hand.  Don't shoot the messenger folks (not that you really could afford to anyway...)  

Please help me in spreading the word so we can limit how many folks needlessly drive to the Training Bureau and find out they can't get ammunition.

The one exception to this will be for those in the Skill Builder Program who, by policy, are required to practice. They will be allowed to get ammunition and get in their mandatory practice but will be limited to 50 rounds per session. 

In an unprecedented move and with the advent of the movie Hunger Games, we are going to allow archery practice at the range to help alleviate this problem.  Chief Danny is requesting this Renaissance  - that we all start going "old school" on future criminals.   Fencing practice will begin next week.

Sorry for the inconvenience but if we don't start to manage this now we will run out of ammunition with a lot of mandatory training and qualifications that have to take place.  We also want to ensure that idiots like detective Anthony Brokaw don't shoot themselves in the ass again, and waste rounds needlessly.

Thank you for helping me  spread the legs of Heather Polombo spread the word.

If the situation doesn't improve over the next few months, we are going to start issuing Molotov cocktails to all patrols, with the bottles generating from Stan Hoover’s recycle bin.


Sergeant Bret Draughn
Phoenix Police Department
Training Bureau - Firearms Training Detail
Work Days: Monday-Friday
Work Hours: 0600-1600 hours
Phone Number: 602-534-0671
Email address: bret.draughn@phoenix.gov
"POLICING WITH A PORPOISE"

The Lab is Broken, Samples aren't Being Processed - And Tracy Is Putting in the Hallway...

At least if you are going to putt at work, do it right!

We hold a handicap of 7 (really!!!) and we can at least teach you how to putt correctly.

Whoops!!!!! Did you hear that?

I think someone else was just murdered because a Lab sample wasn't processed. We could have caught the guy months ago, but practicing our putting in the hallway was far more important!

Do you see this Mayor Phil?

And to think, we only have 27,000 requests to fullfill!

Hit em' well Tracy! We'll see you and Soha at the 19th Hole!

Hopefully, good old Harold Hurtt isn't driving his car home again from the course! Where's Wally when you need him!

Was that Really a Threat from you, Officer XXXX?

I think we received our first official threat!

No sense calling the Police since you’re all reading about it here! Stan Hoover and PSB are not going to investigate it or they will just hide, misplace or lose the request.

It came across indirectly as, “You have struck a nerve. Watch your back. XXXX wants you dead.”

Trust me. This does not instill any fear in us, as a matter of fact it gets us pissed and fired up! Our attorney has the email as more fodder for the Civil Rights case against Jack, Phil and the City of Phoenix.

To the person who sent it and to Officer XXXX– Go fuck yourselves. If the statement is true, the sender is equally culpable since s/he heard it, witnessed it, stated it and did nothing.

Do you really think we are afraid of you? I mean...really afraid of You and the PPD? We have reached a point where we probably have more friends in the PPD then you do!

I’ll be around all week waiting for you Officer XXXX.

We are currently sitting at Starbucks on Raintree and the 101. Please come by. Later this AM, we are meeting with another cop who hates your guts so much - he wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. He is giving us more internal records and more dirt on you Officer XXXX, so I can’t tell you about that meeting! Oh, and just so you know, we are going on the offensive Officer XXXX and are going to find out anything and everything about you and will publish it here. If you so much as fart at your desk or had the Crabs in high school, we will know about it. Your peers think you are piece of white trash, so it will be very easy.

Most of the late morning/early afternoon I have free and I can come down to 620 if you like. How about we meet at Tom’s Tavern for lunch? How about the plaza in front of the Council Chamber? You ping me back and let me know when and where Officer XXXX. On Sunday, I plan on attending the Big Cult church at 67th and Happy Valley (CCV). I hear Snodgrass attends, and an Old Catholic like me would like to see Snodgrass and his fellow Pentecostal come-to-Jesus-freaks put on a good show.

I'll make it very easy for you Officer XXXX. Just tell me when you want to meet and where you want to meet, and we will meet you.

We've said it before and we will say it again anyone of you that wants to meet - Jack Ass Harris, Soha (if he can bum a ride), Little Louie Tovar, Bullet-in-the-Ass Brokaw, Down Syndrome Huntley, Cackling Hen Renteria, Road Rage Andy, Dildo Martin, Donut Bumping Montgomery or SwampAss Snodgrass -

We will say right to your face what we publish here.

Why not make it a big party Officer XXXX? I hear a lot of chief's hang at Hooters off of Bell Road and/or live just south of Desert Ridge, near Bell/56th. How about we have a nice group meeting Officer XXXX? You get your fellow dirty, corrupt, lying cops together and we'll show up.

We can consider it an unofficial "off the record" meeting, which gives you some honest, civilian input and what we really think of you all and your phony chief, Jack Harris.

How about it?