So We Have a New Police Chief. What Happens Next? Read Our Summation of What Needs to Be Done!

As you are all probably aware, our new Phoenix Police chief was sworn in earlier this week.  Proudly strutting around the event was Lt. Dave Adams in his PPSLA shirt glad handing and smiling, wondering which fellow cops told us about his DV and kidnapping conviction!

The question everyone asks us is, “Now what?”  “What will chief Garcia do?” “Where should he sink his teeth in, but most importantly – what does it mean for BadPhoenixCops?”

We’ll answer the later question first. 

Since we see no change and until all that is dirty and shitty in the Phoenix PD is indicted, fired and gone (or any combination of the three) we don’t plan to change anything.  We march on.  We have no elaborate plan or scheme and will continue to vilify cops in a public forum.  It’s exhilarating to excoriate dirty cops and destroy any chance for future advancement.  It’s refreshing when we get calls from good cops telling us how absolutely crazy and utterly humiliated these dirty cops become and how we alter their attitude, their disposition and sometimes – force them to retire or quit a fat paying job, simply because they can no longer tolerate being on a website each day.  Just ask a lying douchebag like Jeff Hynes who is working at Grand Canyon University trying to put his past behind him!  He walked away from a fat salary and DROP because of us.  Just wait until we infiltrate the campus and hand out the BRADY list to all his students!  They can indict us, follow us, investigate us, sue us, and charge us with whatever law they make up.  We always have the last say in the never-ending Internet ass fuck!

But as for the new chief Garcia…we see some challenges he will be facing. We heard he is asking for everyone’s CV to review their backgrounds and qualifications.  We are already hearing rumblings and posturing since most of the higher ranks obtained worthless MBAs and post doctorate degrees from these local correspondence schools; and on paper they appear more qualified then Garcia.  Garcia’s first hurdle will be having a Come to Jesus meeting with these useless assclowns, explaining to them how all those degrees are meaningless against leadership and experience.  If baccalaureate and doctorate degrees were solely important, they themselves would have his job but clearly they do not! 

From our perspective here is a short list of things Garcia will need to build some critical mass:

The assistant chiefs.  It is very tough to find anyone worth their salt and the bad ones outweigh the good ones.  Take a look at Tracey Montgomery and Jim Pina. These two idiots are to law enforcement, what Dr. Seuss was to science and medicine.  Just try and name one good task, one good project or one great idea either of these top cops have had?  Cops hate them. Citizens hate them and ever the LGBT and Rainbow coalition can’t stand them. Pina is stupid, short and mean. Montgomery is stupid, ugly and stupid.  When really dumbass cops like Lt. Stan Hoover find someone to be stupid...then they must be really fucking stupid! 

We challenge anyone to find three people who would sit in a closed-door session and proclaim Montgomery or Pina as good, productive leaders.  We challenge anyone to find three officers who will sing their praises anonymously on this website!   

Garcia should really assess his entire staff and ask for input from front line officers like lieutenants and sergeants (but not the likes of Dave Adams) to gauge who is a good leader and who is not.   We would also encourage and recommend Garcia speak with anyone who has retired in the past 12 months and who had 20 or more years of service with the PPD.   He could learn so much, in a short time period from these folks and get a deep dive assessment on all the fucktards and assclowns.


Corruption and Retaliation. Garcia needs to address the flat out corruption and retaliation against some good cops – like Phil Roberts, Dave Barnes (…who by the way had everything dismissed against him! Yeah EVERYTHING…and he was prematurely fired without so much as a PSB investigatiom, yet someone like Dave Adams, convicted of imprisonment is running for reelection of PPSLA??!!), Linnae Knowles and others mentioned here who were attacked by chief Jack Ass Harris and forced to quit or were embarrassed and humiliated.  In all cases hire them back (if this is what they want), ensure that their records/files show nothing but positive and flawless documentation and genuinely ask what can be done to fix all those that were wronged.

Flush the toilet. In that same vein, Garcia needs to fire those who were the henchmen for Jack – Mike Polombo and his dumb cunt wife and master cockswoman Heather Polombo, the other useless hachet wound Lauri Burgett, Theron Quass, Joe Knott, Spalla, Sandy Renteria, Yahner, Brokaw, and anything with the last name of Tovar and or anyone tied to the Tovar child molestation story...and everyone mentioned on this blog.

And we’re not talking about some long drawn out bullshit PSB investigation, in some sort of Jeff Gordon-esq fashion where they sit on paid leave for 4-6 months.  We mean Donald Trump fired – as in -  here’s a box, collect your shit, find your red stapler, don’t come back and don’t let the door hit your ass on your way out – FIRED!  Then add them all to BRADY and indict them on perjury, filing false police reports and abuse of power so they may never be hired in any law enforcement position again.  Give them all their Glocks, with just one single hollow point bullet, and remind them that under the chin or in the temple and they can miss; and in the mouth is always better.   Actually, we take that back.  Let them go for the temple as to remain in a vegetative state, shitting themselves and drooling.

The right hand guy. Garcia needs to pick a decent, smart exec chief as his right hand man.  Since no one has had the balls to stand up to Yahner or Jack, and they all have sat by silently to protect their own asses, (but yet ironically during the chief interview and vetting process, they touted their leadership and command expertise…Hmmm.  Ironic...don't ya think?), we think this needs to be an outside person.  We have a dinner bet with a current top cop on who it won't be, with the winning prize being Capital Grille!   Garcia needs to find someone who can quickly bring people together, knock down walls and represent the Phoenix PD as a stellar organization.  We see no one in the Phoenix PD who can do this.  We would advocate for an assistant chief or commander if someone shared with us any experienced top cop with a hefty set of balls.  We just don’t see it with anyone in the current crop.  All they would do is demote the folks mentioned above and let them retire with dignity and take the safe easy path.

Fair skies kill a rainbow. Garcia needs to get off the diversity bullshit program started by his boss’ predecessor.  Frank Fairbanks wanted color, creed and sexual orientation above competence.  This bad decision has compromised the Phoenix PD.  Garcia needs to know that ironically he was hired because his name ends in a couple of vowels and will undoubtedly enjoy many lunches at Los Dos Molinos. He needs to use this “asset” to get better people in without appearing as a bigot.  Hiring others whose names end in vowels or the letters E-Z is OK sometimes, if they can do the job.  Garcia needs to promote churn within the PPD but veil it with he’s just mixing things up – albeit – indefinitely! Again asking recently retired cops with 20+ years or speaking one on one with some sergeants and lieutenants will not only earn him respect, but knowledge.

Dumbass+Fucktard=Problem.  Garcia needs to know his boss (not just Dave Cavasos…but also Ed Zuercher) are absolute complete fucking idiots and would sell their own moms to brothels for $5.  Between the two of them, there are no good ideas and no creativity.  Most know that Dave Cavasos' corruption started with TRAVELGATE at the airport and continues in the City Manager’s office, including talking himself out of a ticket and a DUI.  That’s not to say things can’t be changed, but when you are potentially smarter than your own boss, that could lead to problems.  This could be challenging for Garcia.

Loyalty. Garcia needs to foster a department that is loyal to him, which is going to be tough as an outsider.  His predecessor Jack Ass Harris had loyalty, but it was built on a department of corruption at the senior level.  We recommend a department of loyalty for Garcia at the commander, lieutenant and street cop level, and avoid any loyalty with his assistant chiefs.  If he can quickly garner an alliance with the cops who matter, the rest will fall into place and the current asst. chiefs will crumble.

Kiss our ring. Of course Garcia could meet with us, but until we see some traction and hear more about what he is doing, we wouldn’t be interested and we wouldn’t hold our breath waiting for him.  Wrongs need to be made right before we would have any audience with him and its always on our terms and never his.  Plus like we said earlier, destroying dirty cops is fun and the only thing that will silence us at this point is stacks of $100 bills in a trunk or life long membership in the Detective Heather Cox Armstrong Polombo Maryvale blow job club.

That’s our short list, we encourage the comments to add more and hopefully Garcia will read this and take notice.   Imagine if this was all enacted within the next 30 days, how better we would all be? 
Geez…we might have to launch our sister site GoodPhoenixCops.com to sing Garcia’s praises. 
But only time will tell.

So many before him could have done something and made some great positive changes, but so many chickened out and were cunts.

We are optimistic.  

We learned a long time ago that this is the best time for Garcia.  The first 30-60 days is when any new employee can help an organization and they can be the most insightful – before they start drinking the kool-aid!

And if we had one bit of advice for chief Garcia? 

In order to make an omelette, you have to break a lot of eggs. 
Chief Garcia - make us a great omelette and don't be a douchebag because you will end up here like so many before you.